Day 1, having seven lessons continuously. I almost lost my voice. When it came to the last few lessons, I really didn’t want to speak, but I still had to teach.

Besides teaching lessons, I needed to on duty during lunch time. So, finally I didn’t have time to have lunch again. I really couldn’t find any time to eat.

After school, I was very exhausted. All my energy was used up.

School starts again. Every night before starting school, I always can’t sleep well. Last night is also like that, I felt like I didn’t sleep at all.

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Before I had holiday, my Mum always said I looked pale. Even my Grandpa said I looked pale. However, I didn’t notice that indeed.

And today, when I looked at the mirror and tried to tidy my clothings, I had a chance to look at myself clearly. Then I suddenly found that my face was pale and my lips were white. I seemed like a ghost which doesn’t have life.

Then I rubbed my cheeks immediately, so they would be redder. It seemed I believe firmly that this is the best way to make my face become red.

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Really tired. A bit dizzy. It is time to sleep…

My holiday finished again. It’s time to prepare my heart for working tomorrow.

However, while I am preparing my heart, I am also looking forward to the Lunar New Year holiday which is only after three more weeks. ^^

I guess, January won’t be too difficult for me.

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Suddenly, I thought working at school violate my true self for a little bit. That’s because I have to force myself to be a mature and independent adult. However, I think I am not truely that way.

Perhaps, that’s one reason why I felt so tired while working.

In the early morning, I went to do a very simple body check. Drawing blood, measuring height and weight, and checking the blood pressure. And that’s all.

Today, my blood pressure was good, I guess my rest in Christmas holiday was worth. And my weight didn’t increase, but it didn’t decrease, perhaps that’s good enough.

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Tonight, I exercised alot. I played squash for a while. Very tired.

However, I felt good that I could exercise. I really haven’t exercised for a long long time.

Friday, it would be my last real hoilday. I should value this free day.

To make a nice dinner, to wander around, to arrange some documents in the computer. Perhaps, after my holiday, I don’t have time to do all these things.

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I still haven’t finished marking students’ assignements.

Year of 2009 came. I wonder, in the year of 1999, have I ever thought about that there will be year of 2009 in this world someday?  

The earth rotates with no evidence. When people notice, that’s actually after a long time already.

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New year is a good time to buy new things. So, I went shopping with my Mum for the whole day. We got quite a lot of things.

31/12/08

A year passed easily again.

Perhaps I have grown, perhaps working life is more dull. So, I didn’t have any special feeling on New Year eve this year.

New Year Eve, really became a normal day.

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Indeed, I thought I had to stay home and being really bored on this New Year eve. However, I finally had a really fun time. That’s something special in this normal day.

Today, I am more energetic, but I can only stay home, and have nothing to do. Very bored.

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I am still working hard to mark assignments and prepare lesson, but it seemed these work can never be done. And the holiday is nearly end.

ai.

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lost…

Eating and sleeping, then a day passed. However, there are still a lot of work waiting for me to finish.

I am always unwilling to work during holidays.

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I still sleep all the time. It seemed I am very lazy. However, if I didn’t sleep, I can’t keep working.

My body is really bad in these few days. I always feel dizzy. And this afternoon when we are having choir practice, I felt dizzy again.

When we were standing to practice the song, I started to feel dizzy. The longer I standed, the more dizzy and weak I felt. I was so dizzy that I wanted to vomit, I was so dizzy that I felt I couldn’t breath well.

Indeed, I really wanted to ask whether I could sit down or not, but I was afraid that I would disturb others, also, I didn’t like to make others worry. So, I didn’t say anything, and I tried my best to sustain myself.

To be frank, I truely felt very sick. I felt so sick that I almost wanted to cry. However, I had to hold my tears back, because I know crying suddenly would make people even more worry than saying that I didn’t feel well.

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Why do I always hide myself?